Well, the Australian Herbicide Resistance Initiative (AHRI) has taken a light-hearted look at this question.
AHRI content producer, Peter Newman, has put together a special "Logies edition" for the AHRI's December Insight. The following is an excerpt from the Insight:
On the red carpet of the Australian weeds Logie awards for Weed of the Year, Annual Ryegrass was smugly strutting around in a slinky green number, confident that she would take out her 30th consecutive victory.
All of the other weeds were spiteful and annoyed that their managers had forced them to turn up to yet another event where Ryegrass gets the gong, and they have to sit through another agonising acceptance speech where she brags about her latest herbicide resistance achievement, thanking the farmers for continuing to spray her with expensive herbicides, while making no mention of the other weeds.
"Just because she's an obligate outcrosser with extreme genetic diversity doesn't mean she's the weediest weed," Feathertop Rhodes Grass was heard to mutter.
"She couldn't cut it in Queensland!"
Master of Ceremonies for the event was past winner, and long-time destroyer of grain crops, Wild Radish.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm excited to announce that we have a new judging criteria for this year's Weed of the Year award," Wild Radish said.
"We'll be using the new Australian Weed Assessment Calculator, developed by Hugh Beckie and Mechelle Owen from AHRI with help from Catherine Borger, Gurgeet Gill and Michael Widderick. The new calculator involves allocating points to 10 different weediness traits." Annual ryegrass had a face like a cat's behind!
"I don't care," she said. "I'm sure I've still got this in the bag."
Wild Radish announced the nominees:
"Annual Ryegrass." A polite round of applause ensues.
"Emex australis, also known as Three Cornered Jack or Doublegee." A huge roar of approval.
"Brome Grass," more applause, no big surprise here.
"Wild Radish, oh that's me, oh thank you judges," Wild Radish blushes, mild applause.
"And rounding out the top five nominees, our first ever nominee from northern Australia, Chloris virgata, aka Feathertop Rhodes," a huge roar of applause followed by the Queenslanders chanting "Beers, beers, beers."
The other 15 weeds in the competition stared into their beers and declared to do better next year.
And the winner is…………….find out by visiting https://bit.ly/3iPhG3x